Why I panicked.

On May 29th 2013 around 10pm I was having a lovely conversation with a friend. We were discussing book launch parties and the many ideas I have for mine. As I thought about it I wondered just how many days I had until the day came.
I did the worst thing I could possibly do . . . I counted out exactly how many days I had. 121. That is how many days left between May 29th and publication day, September 27th. And I had a panic attack.

Not just a "Oh my goodness, there are only 121 days left!" Oh no, it was much worse. My body went weak. My stomach churned. I was going to vomit. I quit breathing. I couldn't think of anything but that number just dancing through my mind.  One hundred and twenty one days . . . 

Everyone told me to just breathe. It was no big deal, that was 121 days left to edit, plan, format, get a cover, make a trailer . . . etc. I had plenty of time, no need to worry. But I was worrying. And I didn't know how to stop it.

Finally I walked away from the computer, took a breather, showered, and came back. And that number was still there floating on the screen. Still there nagging and freaking me out!

So why did I panic? Well let me give you the list!

• That is only 121 to work on a million different things that need to be in order for this book to be publish worthy. 
• I wasn't even halfway through editing the book. How was I ever going to have it publish worthy in 121 days? 
• I have been working towards publication for seven years. In fact, on September 27th I will have been working for that day for exactly seven years . . . to the day. 
• My first book comes out in 121 days! 
• In 121 I will be a published author. 
• Only 121 days between me and publication, that translates to 121 days until my first book is out there in the world where people can read it, hate it, tear it apart, or love it and give it 5 star reviews.

There were plenty of reasons for me to panic. But luckily I have some pretty amazing friends who helped calm the nerves and got my heartbeat back down to a normal, okay speed. 

Am I still nervous? YES! Am I panicking? Not quite so much. Am I pushing the release date back? NO! 

There are now 119 days until Only Half Alive is published.