My take on all the bullying . . .

If you've been on Facebook lately you've most likely seen quite a bit of bullying going on. Maybe not firsthand but there are plenty of stories going around. A few times now people have asked for my take on it all.

I've tried to avoid it but as it gets worse I can't just push it aside. It can't be ignored. So here it is . . . my take on all of the bullying going on.

Let me start with a story.

About nine years ago I was bullied. Not online but in person. Kids my age hated me. I will never understand why other than I was the new kid, the outsider. Because of their hurtful words, all their jokes, the evil glares, and such I became an over achiever. This didn't help my case because all of the sudden, the adults all loved me.

Things got bad. I was sick of everything in life. I was tired of not having any friends, always being an outsider despite trying so hard to fit in.

In 2007 things changed. At this point I had two real friends. One of which invited me to attend a writer's group for girls my age; taught by her mother along with a few other women. Originally I declined but in the end, I went and that is when I discovered writing.

Writing became my escape. It didn't matter that I had no real friends because I found friends with my characters. I could write for hours on end and often, I did just that. And a couple of years later I attended my first writers conference.

I was out of my element, terrified, alone at a whole conference, and I ran into Shanna - one of the women who taught me to write. She asked how many authors I had spoken to so far. The look on her face when I admitted I hadn't spoken to anyone is unforgettable. She got in my face, looked me dead in the eye, and said "Konstanz, you get out there and you introduce yourself to people. Get your name out there. Talk to people!"

Terrified at the task she gave me, I went to another class. Afterwards I meekly approached the front of the room, introduced myself to the authors who gave the class, and now eight years later I'm still doing that.

Writing saved me in a way nothing else could. Where I was bullied by people my own age, I found friends at this conference filled with people just like me. I knew I found a group of people I could call my friends for life.

One thing I learned above everything else is authors stick up for each other. We help each other. We are there for each other. There is no competition amongst authors because readers will always want more books. Well, it was that way.

Now I can't say the same thing. Yes, readers want more books. So why in the world have we turned it into a competition? Why are authors fighting each other like cats and dogs? What happened to the kindness?

*Paul Genesse taught a panel at one of my first conferences that I will never forget. He talked about how authors help each other. And if you have a published author, he is going to help the author below him - the author getting ready to submit his manuscript to publishers. And the author submitting to publishers is going to in turn, help the author below him, the one still in the editing phase. And the author in the editing phase is going to help the author below him. And it will keep going so that no matter where you are in your writing career there will always be someone to help you.

*This is not word for word. I do not recall Paul's exact words but it was the same idea, the same principle. 

So what happened to that? When I feel like I can't go to a fellow author for help there is something seriously wrong with the author and book world.

The bullying (in every form) needs to stop.

I recently read a blog post calling out a well known author for bullying. Knowing that author personally, I have a hard time believing that the blogger tells the full story. And how often is this happening? How often are authors outed as bullies because people refuse to get all the facts?

I am not saying that authors do not bully. Simply that we should know all the facts before judging, before refusing to buy their work or talk to them. Every one has a story. As someone in the writing community, authors, readers, bloggers, should understand that more than anyone.

Let's quit the accusing game, the blaming game, the "everyone attack this person for saying something we didn't like" game. And let's get back to the supporting each other.

Help me, help you! And support your favorite giveaways!

When I do giveaways, it comes out of my own pocket.  Occasionally Authors will donate their books (like when I do a review or interview or launch party) and sometimes I win things that I use as prizes.  But I can't keep getting all this awesome stuff to giveaway without a little help.  Want to know how you can help?  I shall give you a list of ways you can help. (And please don't feel obligated or like I am trying to be rude or begging for help. Or even that I'm complaining.  I have been asked via e-mail by quite a few people now and so I thought I would share my thoughts).

• Share my posts.  Especially the Giveaways.  How does this help?  It brings more people to the blog, and brings in more entries.  How does that help?  It lets me know what people want.  If I giveaway a necklace and only get five entries and giveaway a book and get ten entries, I know to giveaway more books and spend less time on jewelry. 
• If you like what I'm giving away, follow my blog.  And don't just comment on the posts that have giveaways.  Take a look around, let me know that you enjoy more on my blog than just getting free things. 
• Donate Prizes!  Yes, you can donate prizes.  And if you donate a prize, I will feature you on my blog! Guess what,  I would love to donate prizes to other blogs.  But I can't do it if I don't have a way to do it.  So here is what you can do: E-mail me and let me know if you have a prize you want to donate.  Let me know what the prize is and when you want to be featured.  As simple as that! 
• Support the Authors! My favorite part of blogging is helping authors.  So when I host an author, do a giveaway or a book, do an interview or review, comment. Re-post, Share and most importantly, follow the author! 
• When I review and giveaway, you review. If I do a giveaway for a book I just reviewed and you win and have the means, review the book! Help support the author.  
• *If you want to support giveaways directly, Check out what I do and help support my family's' business.  (The jewelry is what I do).  CLICK HERE to check it out!  Plus, we do custom work! 
• *Check out my Etsy page!  All money made on Etsy goes directly to Giveaways! (Plus, I have some really cool stuff for sale!)  Also, if you help my sister out, that will help me out which will help you out because I will be able to giveaway more awesome stuff! *Check her Etsy store out HERE!
• Know that this doesn't apply just to me. Most bloggers pay for everything they giveaway!  And the harder the times get, the less giveaways there will be.  I do a lot of jewelry related giveaways because I can make the jewelry.  I do giveaways for journals because I make journals.  But I love doing crazy awesome giveaways and I don't want to stop!  So help support your favorite bloggers! 

*If you purchase anything from any of these links, leave a note on your order saying that Nothought2small brought you there and I will make sure you get a "Thank you"  gift included with your order!