Do you ever feel like a Squib of a writer?
Okay, let me make it clear, I am not referring to the Chinese explosive or referencing Star Wars.
I'm actually talking about Harry Potter; Specifically, Mr. Filch.
For the avid Harry Potter fans, you may skip to the next bold sentence. For this of you who have NO IDEA what I am referring to, continue reading.
Mr. Filch is the grumpy caretaker in Harry Potter. The only thing he loves is his cat Mrs. Norris and for those who don't know anything about him, he can seem like a cranky old man. Okay, he is a cranky old man. BUT there is a reason for his mood. He. Is. A. Squib.
Squib: Squib is the term applied to a child who is born of magical parents, but who develops no magical abilities. They are considered to be the opposite of Muggle-born wizards/witches. Squib births are rare: the only squibs noted as such in the books are Argus Filch, Arabella Figg, and Molly Weasley's second cousin who was an accountant. The Ministry does not require them to be registered as part of the Community. Squibs share some things with wizards and they are aware of and comprehend the wizarding world. They also can see Hogwarts, which ordinary Muggles cannot. However, according to Ron's Aunt Muriel, the custom with squibs has been to send them to Muggle schools and encourage them to integrate into the Muggle world, which is "much kinder" than keeping them in the wizarding world where they will always be "second-class". In contrast to most of the wizarding world's acceptance and even respect for Muggles and Muggle-born wizards and witches, it is often considered embarrassing to have a squib in the family. Rowling has stated that Muggle-born witches and wizards are descended from squibs who married Muggles; the magical gene may resurface after many generations unexpectedly. (Taken from Wikipedia.)
So, Argus Filch is not JUST a cranky old man. He is angry, annoyed and hurt that he has to work for those who have the magic, the magic he should have but can't.
Here is the bold sentence for those who did not need to read the definition of a Squib.
So, do you ever feel like that? Like you're supposed to be a writer but you don't have the "magic" of it. And so you help other authors. Like posting reviews and going to book signings and attending writers conferences even though you just can't finish your own book?
Yeah, that's how I feel right about now. I know I am supposed to have "the magic" but I just can't seem to find it, use it or control it. So instead of focusing on my work, I read books for review and help spread the word about new releases and I do giveaways and constantly talk about all the books I've read and the authors I know. I wear t-shirts for various books and I even have pens and bookmarks custom made for other authors. And though I LOVE what I do (don't get me wrong, I LOVE it). Sometimes, I feel like a squib.
It makes me wonder though. Was I supposed to be a Writer, or just a helper for other writers?
Like. . . Mr. Filch. (No worries though, I'm not gonna become a grumpy old man and be cold hearted about it, I honestly truly LOVE helping other authors.)
Have you ever felt this way? What do you do about it? Does it go away? Have you given up writing and just become a book reviewer/blogger because of it?